Archive for November, 2008

Sunday Secret

November 30, 2008

nara

help1

These are just two Postsecret’s that caught my eye this week.

 

I’m thinking about you…

Breakups, movies and Facebook

November 29, 2008

So here’s the thing – I thought I’d been pretty good with the whole breakup issue. It wasn’t my ideal, it wasn’t my choice, but it was something that had to happen. Now I thought I’d been pretty noble about the whole things to be honest – doing my best to stay out of the way and not give in to the daily temptation to message her etc, but today has been really hard so far for some reason, and so I’m choosing to write here instead of doing something stupid.

To explain why today has been hard I need to explain my break up rules really. First of all, I had to get a life – I hadn’t really had one in the last few months, so this was highly important to the ‘moving on’. Secondly, I’ve taken all pictures down, removed key rings and necklaces the she gave me, deleted all texts, and then removed her number from my phone. Facebook however presented a problem – I didn’t want to delete her from it, as it would only be upsetting and, to be honest, I’m not that bitter. My final rule however is that I am onlyallowed to look at her profile if she appears in my minifeed.

Now, I’d been doing pretty well (if I do say so myself) on all of the above. I’ve definitely been getting a life – talking to more people, going out, and trying to expand my circle of peeps (oh yes, I’m gangster). The second part had worked quite well too …until yesterday when I turned on my laptop for the first time in weeks, to which, the background was set to a picture of ‘us’ – so that gave me a little twinge of something deep in my stomach (not a recommended way to start the day). I then spent the day in bed, watching TV and films, all of which seemed to have quotes that reflected parts of my mood – my favourite and truest of which coming from Smallville (surprisingly), saying:

A person never truly gets over their first love. I mean, you believe you’re going to spend threst of your life with someone, and when you’ve got to start over again with someone new…is it ever the same?

Ouch right?! Then moving on to the crazy lesbian Judi Dench in Notes on a Scandal who proceeded to warm me to:

“Mind the gap”
The difference between life as you dream it, and life as it is.

Double ouch – as, needless to say, my life is not exactly as I dream it right about now. Now you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Why do it to yourself fool!” …Well, as if I could hear these cries, I moved on to something a little more mood settling – Resident Evil 3! Hehe! Alas, as though glutton for punishment, I then moved back onto the emotional, with Freedom Writers, which has the ever so pleasant subplot of divorce (and also happened to be a film I was going to recommend to H, as she’d love it). As if that wasn’t enough, I then turned to the coming out story with The Truth About Jane – in which the lead, again, gets dumped AND after just coming out to her parents (hmmm…).

Needless to say, it wasn’t the best of days to get the ol’ mind off of being dumped. But still, I got up today feeling hopeful …after all, I have a whole day of activities planned – I had a fire-drill in work, which was lame, but I got to see all my friends, and then I’m off into town to watch the rugby with Burke and some of the boys, followed by either a night in front of the Xfactor (the only thing to watch on a Saturday night!) or a trip to the pub with some of the girls if I so wish. HOWEVER, I made the mistake of coming on here in-between work and town, and logging on to the dreaded Facebook, where, guess who was in my minifeed, and so naturally I went on her profile… Here I find these pictures that she’s posted up from her model day in Cardiff, and she looks so happy and beautiful in them I just wasn’t sure what to do with myself. And so basically (long story short) I decided to write this rather open blog, just to prevent myself from commenting or messaging her saying how happy and beautiful she looks. Sad, but true…

 So thank you all for being my shoulder (or screen) to cry (or write) on. Thank you very much…

 

Determined to leave it on a happy note:
Random thought of the day– I find Ellen Muth strangely attractive.

Stuck

November 26, 2008

Another lyrical insight into the inner workings of my mind…

I can’t get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can’t seem to find a way
To leave the love behind

I ain’t trippin
I’m just missing (you)
You know what I’m saying
You know what I mean

You kept me hanging on a string
While you made me cry
I tried to give you everything
But you just gave me lies

I ain’t trippin
I’m just missing (you)
You know what I’m saying
You know what I mean (yeah)

Every now and then
When I’m all alone
I be wishing you will call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There’s nothing I can do..
I’m such a fool
For you

I can’t take it
what am i waiting for?
my hearts still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it
The way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you!
It’s true
I’m stuck on you

Now love’s a broken record that’s
Been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday
Why we got to play these games we play?

I ain’t trippin
I’m just missing (you)
You know what I’m saying
You know what I mean (yeah)

Every now and then
When I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool

I can’t take it
what am i waiting for?
My hearts still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it
The way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you!
It’s true
I’m stuck on you (yoooh-oooh-ooh yeah yeah)

Every now and then
When I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the tel-e-phone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There’s nothing I can do..
I’m such a fool
For you

Stacie Orrico ~ Stuck On You

Broken Strings

November 24, 2008

Alot of this song sounds just about right to me…

Let me hold you
For the last time
It’s the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now I can’t feel anything

When I love you
It’s so untrue
I can’t even convince myself
When I’m speaking
It’s the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all okay

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there’s nothing left to say
It’s like chasing the very last train
When it’s too late

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all okay

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

But we’re running through the fire
When there’s nothing left to say
It’s like chasing the very last train
When we both know it’s too late

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that aint real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
Oh and I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It’s the last change to feel again

James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado – Broken Strings

I hate this part…

November 21, 2008

Is it wrong when one of your ‘break songs’ is that of the Pussycat Dolls and the other of Katy Perry?

Does it not strike as some kind of dramatic irony that I write a blog of the down sides to such artists in my own kind of pretentious way, and then the songs that plague me in the relationship aftermath (other then Wizard of Oz songs – my brother recently played the Scarecrow…) are those of the pop masses *sigh*

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part where the end starts

I can’t take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers

I don’t want to try now
All that’s lefts goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

But I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I hate this part

I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it

I hate this part right here
And I just can’t take these tears
I hate this part right here

_____________________________________________________________________

‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold
You’re yes then you’re no
You’re in and you’re out
You’re up and you’re down
You’re wrong when it’s right
It’s black and it’s white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You, you don’t really wanna stay, no
You, but you don’t really wanna go, oh

However, one potential positive (and I can’t stress the word potential enough!) out of all this is that I think I have been inspired to try some writing again. Novel, lyrics, poetry …haven’t quite decided on this one yet, but watch this space people!

Don’t look back got a new direction
I loved you once
Needed protection
You’re still a part of everything I do
You’re in my heart just like a tattoo
Jordin Sparks ~ Tattoo

love things…

November 18, 2008

It’s curious – this funny thing called love. Everyone always has a competing vision of how love should be treated, why it ends, and how to try and rekindle the flame. I love my friends and the advice they want to give me, but sometimes they just make things worse. You know that feeling where you are worried about something and then someone whispers in your ear “What if it’s this…” and then provides you with a whole new set of worries – most of which, deep down you know are bull. I’m discovering that life can be hard once a seed of doubt is planted – damn you doubt! lol! I guess we all just have the ride the storm at some point in our lives and relationships, I would just rather love to get back to some calm waters soon.

 

“What is love? Love is when one person knows all of your secrets… your deepest, darkest, most dreadful secrets of which no one else in the world knows… and yet in the end, that one person does not think any less of you; even if the rest of the world does.”

“Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love!”

“You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.”

Zack and Miri…

November 16, 2008

…do in fact make a porno.

Well, I’ve just come back from watching the latest Kevin Smith comedy – Zack and Miri Make A Porno. The film is based around Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks), two childhood friends who 10 years after graduation have very little to be proud of. After a night of embarrassment at their school reunion, they return to a home with both the water and electric shut off. What could they possibly do to get themselves out of such a sorry state …how about, make a porno?! What follows from this is a hilarious journey of the two making porn, and unsurprisingly…falling in love.

All in all, if you’re not easily offended by sex, then this is a comedy that most can enjoy. If you’re a fan of Smith, then you definitely need to see this film. A solid hour and 40 of laughs, and remember not to leave the cinema until you see the bonus video that appears half way through the credits – it’s more than worth a final giggle!

PLUS– Look out for familiar faces in the supporting cast, including Smith pal Jason Mewes (‘Jay’ from Clerks & Jay and Silent Bob), Brandon Routh (Superman Returns) and Justin Long (Die Hard 4).

 

Zack (on one knee):Miriam Linkey, will you have sex with me on camera for money?
Miri: I will!

Boy kisses!

November 14, 2008

Turns out there is an ‘I kissed a boy’ SONG

Did I call it or what?!

I wonder if she really did…

November 14, 2008

So remaining on the musical theme I’ve had going on as of late, I thought I’d bring up a little debate I had with someone the other day. The topic of this debate for you folks (or ‘folk’, as it’s likely that only Kirsty is reading this!) is …Katy Perry. I should imagine you have heard of her, a plucky, twenty-something, attractive female who kissed a girl and apparently liked it – not that I can blame her!  Anywhoo, the debate stemmed from whether the song is just a cheap gimmick, taking advantage of a common male fantasy (not to mention a growing trend within the ranks of straight girls) OR whether it’s a song to be celebrated as a shout out to bi-curiosity and not to mention one hell of a catchy and upbeat tune.

Myself, I was all for the former. I didn’t really like the song and I saw it as kind of tacky and another way to gain money and fans from horny teenagers. That is, until I saw the video. I must admit, I was expecting raunch central with girl-on-girl action dripping from the screen. Now, while a part of me was disappointed that this didn’t feature (yes yes, I’m a perve, I know…)another part of me felt the song had been redeemed. I know I’m rather dramatic in my interpretation of this, but I was just surprised that they hadn’t gone to town with the video to capitalise on the increasingly raunched culture we find ourselves in today. Anyways, for some reason this fact changed my opinion of the song EVEN when I found out that she wrote the song as some kind of attack on her uber-religious parents (after all, who doesn’t have parental issues!? – In fact my mother hates the song so much, if it ever comes on the radio she changes the station. Hmmm..I wonder why!?)

With my complete 180 view of the song, I have decided that the only thing that could make the whole thing possibly any amazing and funny would be for someone to counter with some kind of gay guy song – fancy it Will Young? Hehe!  Oh, and while we’re on the notion of capitalising on gimmicks, get your very own ‘I kissed Katy Perry and she wrote a song about it’ t-shirt HERE!

 

On a side note, I had the nicest thing imaginable in my mouth today…
…a Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough milkshake – heaven!!

 

“Sex is not power — women in decision-making positions — that’s power. When the senate is 50 percent women, that’s power. Sexual freedom is a smokescreen for how far we haven’t come.”
~ Ariel Levy – ‘Female Chauvinist Pigs’

Call this a comeback…

November 12, 2008

This post brings another new musical discovery! I can feel your excitement from here!!
This band is called You Me At Six (I’m not really sure what that means either..)
They are a little emo for most people I should imagine, but they have some rather catchy tunes. One of my favourites is Always Attract. As most of you know the importance of lyrics to me in whether I enjoy the song or not ..here’s the lyrics:

If it hurts this much,
Then it must be love,
And it’s a lottery,
I can’t wait to draw your name.
Oh I’m trying to get to you,
But time isn’t on my side.
If the truth’s the worst I can do,
then I guess that I have lied

Keeping me awake,
It’s been like this now for days.
My heart is out at sea,
My head all over the place.
I’m losing sense of time,
And everything tastes the same.
I’ll be seeing you in a week,
I fear that’s a month too late.

That night I slept,
On your side of the bed so,
It was ready when you got home.
We’re like noughts and crosses in that,
Opposites always attract.

You’ve taken me to the top,
And let me fall back south.
You’ve had me at the top of the pile,
And then had me kissing the ground.
We’ve heard and seen it all,
No ones talked us out.
The problems that have come,
Haven’t yet torn us down.

Am i keeping you awake? If i am then just say.
You can make your own decisions; you can make your own mistakes.
I’ll live and let die all the promises you made,
But if you lie another time, it’ll be a lie that’s too late.

That night I slept,
On your side of the bed so,
It was ready when you got home.
We’re like noughts and crosses in that,
Opposites always attract.

You always have your way,
For now it’s too soon for you to say,
Will we be always, always?