With tired eyes, tired minds, tired souls…

Today was a tough day. Today was the day that we buried my Nan. It’s been 2 weeks since she died, and so the limbo has finally ended – dust to dust. It has literally been the most surreal day imaginable.

To begin with, it was the first time I had been into my Nan’s house since she died. I kept expecting to see her pop her head around the corner and for her to be there fussing over everyone …it just felt like an intrusion without her there, and she always felt uncomfortable with too many people in her house – she wouldn’t have liked it.

Next, my brother literally did not stop crying the whole day. When the priest came to the house he started, continuing in the car there, getting worse once at the crem. He broke my heart during the service. He cried like I’ve never seen anyone cry before. I just sat with him, hugging him. I felt so useless. It was also the first time that I’d really had a chance to let go and cry for myself. It was a relief.

My cousin saw a PostSecret from this weeks selection on Frank’s website and thought I’d sent it in. She doesn’t know about this blog, which makes things stranger, as it was the exact same secret that I posted a few days ago on here about grandparents and memory. This same cousin and I also chose the same funeral song for my Nan at the same time, while we were county’s apart and speaking to different people …we have a connection I cannot explain.

I felt closer to my family today than I have in a long time. It brought almost a sense of pride that so any people came to the funeral to pay my Father respect. He is such a loving, caring man, he deserved it and so much more. I can’t imagine living life without either of my parents, and so I’m going to endeavour to help him remember that he still has family that loves and adores him. He is my hero.  

Lastly, my Auntie was ridiculous today. Once all the guests had left she immediately started grave robbing. It was crazy. She nearly reduced myself and my cousins to tears. Dividing up trinkets is not what you do on the day of the funeral. I’m sorry, but it’s just damn disrespectful. If I hadn’t been so shocked by it all, I would have had such a go at her. She was the only part of my family that near ruined the day …funerals are bad enough without that.

I’d also just like to say thank you to my friends that have sent me cards, texts, facebook messages/comments/status’  or called me. It means so much to me that you’ve held me in your thoughts today …it would have been a much tougher day without it. Thank you.

In rememberence of
DOROTHY PERRY
1928 – 2009

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