So I turns out I’m now getting quite the reputation as a heartbreaker. It seems that people cannot resist my charms, and then when I warn them that I’m not an easy person to be with these days, that I can’t be relied on for commitment and that I have a severe case of ‘grass-is-always-greener’, they still seem surprised when I let them down. Granted, I thought I’d found something a little different this time …I mean, it went pretty great for almost a month. But again, after a while, things just started unravelling. I felt uncomfortable where I was, who I was with. The spark had gone, and I just didn’t want to be involved any more, and it started eating at me inside. I don’t even really care that she thinks that I’m a bitch right now …she’ll get over it. All I know, is that if I had kept things going for any longer she would have been the one that was hurt far worse (she told me she loved me after a week of being together, come on…!).

It’s actually kind of strange, because I was always more associated with the heartbroken in the past, and so getting a taste of the other side is really quite strange. I understand why she feels so upset and angry towards me, because a year ago that was me. But I guess that it’s also made me appreciate that sometimes, no matter how much you know you are going to hurt the other person, and no matter how much you care about them, when you just don’t feel right in your own skin anymore, and your relationship isn’t making you happy – then what else are you supposed to do?

I don’t particularly expect her to forgive me, I know that she sees my decision as out of the blue and a betrayal, but if you’re not happy after knowing each other barely a month, then is there really any point? It’s sad, but all the clichés that are used “it’s not you it’s me” and “let’s be friends” seem to be things that naturally come out. But then I guess I told a friend of mine once that they are clichés for a reason!

I guess this blog really was more just about understanding. I think that I can connect a little more to why people end relationships now. I never understood it before …not really.  Now, I understand…


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One Response to “Heartbreaker”

  1. laurakatejones Says:

    I’ve never been truly heartbroken. Least not till me and Bex broke up, I’m still struggling to come to terms with it. It’s confusing. I don’t want to get back with her or anything but I still miss her loads and I’m finding it hard to find someone who comes close to make me feeling how I felt with her. Hmmmm, hopefully I will one day – when I find someone dim enough to take me on haha. Sometimes though you need to the hardest thing to do the right thing.
    Love the blog 🙂 xx

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