Posts Tagged ‘parents’

That’s soooo gay…

January 31, 2010

So my mother found out about the latest lady love in my life, and things didn’t exactly go as well as I’d hoped. Seeing as I came out to both of my parents about a year and a half ago now, I thought that entering into another lesbian relationship wouldn’t particularly come as a shock to her …turns out I was wrong. On telling her that I was in fact dating Charlotte, her exact response was – “I thought you were over the whole girl thing and were back to boys…”

I know right?! How are you supposed to reply to that one?!

I’ve been seeing different girls on and off over the last year, and granted I haven’t told my parents about any of them (I had to make sure they’d stick first…clearly they didn’t! lol!), but I’d of said that my behaviour has been anything but under the radar – I mean, my mother has Facebook for Christ’s sake! All of a sudden though it seems that I’ve returned to the penis, which I find amusing that she thinks this, seeing as the last naked man I saw was somewhere in the region of 5 years ago! Apparently even the rainbow flag in my bedroom isn’t enough to give it away! Mothers… crazy, crazy species!

Can’t choose family…

August 7, 2009

So we’ve had a bit of annoying time recently regarding our family holiday. Myself, my Brother, my Mum and Dad are going to Barcelona with my Auntie and two Cousins at the end of the month. Now, my brother and myself have sacrificed alot to allow this holiday to go ahead – I gave up a weeks work at the Edinburgh TV Festival, and Matthew will be missing his A-Level results and so will potentially have trouble getting into University if he has to go into clearing. However all of a sudden, the other three are wanting to drop out! What makes things worse, is that going back about a month ago, my parents came into some money and so were debating dropping out of the holiday ourselves to go for something a little further afield like Florida, Canada or Vegas, but we didn’t because we knew the others wouldn’t be able to afford the upgrade.

Family is supposed to stick together. I guess however on this occasion water may have been thicker than blood…

Happy Father’s Day

June 21, 2009


The opposite of secret…

May 11, 2009

So this weeks PostSecrets all followed the theme of ‘mothers’. Now many would argue that this is a fairly relevant theme seeing as, you know, mothers – everyone has one… For some reason however they just didn’t inspire me in any way. I don’t have any grudges with my Mum and yet I don’t really feel the need to shout her praises from the rooftop either. I finally looked through the selection again today however, and decided that there is one that reminds me of an aspect of my life – just replace the word Mom with Dad, school with work, and it’s me!


Drama, drama, drama…

March 27, 2009

Things got pretty dark in the Perry household last night. All I’ve wanted to do all day is talk it through with the one person that might make it all easier for me, but I’m not exactly in a position to be asking any favours right now, so instead I’m going to vent to you fine fellows. Let’s just say that his version of events is the censored account of the evening, and if you think it sounds bad, it was a hell of a lot worse that that …believe me.

So here’s the gist of what’s going on. On Saturday, it’s my cousin Becky’s 18th birthday party. As a polite gesture, my auntie then said that my brother and I could each bring a +1 to the event. Naturally, my brother wants to bring his boyfriend. This fact however has led to more tension than I actually thought possible. Instead of everyone just discussing their opinions, they have all gone completely off the handle. Basically when my brother told my parents he wanted to bring James they went really funny with him and said that they didn’t want him there. This then made my brother naturally want to rebel even more, and so is insisting that James will be there. My mother tried to explain that she’s just worried because our entire family will be there, and my grandparents and some of the older relatives know nothing about Matt’s lifestyle. This then lead to Matt shouting about how it’s just because my parents are ashamed of him and that they don’t want him to be happy and don’t care about him. This then is where things got nasty …now I don’t approve of the way Matt reacted, but what my Mum followed with was just uncalled for. She basically decided she was going to have a little shout of her own back, and blurted that it’s my brother’s responsibility then to be upfront with my grandparents, and that if the shock, worry and stress affects my grandmother, then he can live with that on his conscious. Let’s just say, the evening ended in tears, which continued long into this morning where round 2 commenced. The jury is still out on whether they will make up, and God knows what’s going to happen at this damn party if this is the prelude to it all! Sometimes I wish I could just escape…

To try and think in the positive and end the post on a bit of a more encouraging note, maybe I can fill you in on what I have been up to since my last posting. First of all my Internet is still not up and running and so I am once again stealing my cousin’s (not all family is all bad all the time it seems!). I guess then that there has been two note worthy events since last Friday, beginning with Saturday where I went out with Matt, James and my friend Burke to see Little Shop of Horrors on stage in Cardiff. I have to say, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was expecting from this show, but whatever it was, this far exceeded it! It truly was fantastic. The songs, cast and set were all amazing …not to mention that we had really brilliant seats in the circle. It is definitely a show I would recommend to anyone that hasn’t seen the production live, and I would 100% go and see it again one day. Plus, while in the theatre, my brother and I ended up booking tickets to go and see Cabaret in May! For those Brits that read this and are in to reality TV, who remembers I’d Do Anything, the Andrew Lloyd Webber search for a new Nancy in Oliver? Well, remember Samantha Barks the hot, young contestant who came 3rd? She’s the lead! I can’t wait! 🙂

The second of my blogtastic events was going out on Monday night to a house party with some of the guys from work. Now this was actually a really good night even though I had to get up for work the next day after only 4 hours sleep! We played drinking Family Guy (which was a bit of a disaster as we made up a few too many drinking rules!), and danced to a hell of a lot of cheese, including the time warp, macarena, 5678, and drinking Roxanne …was quite a mission I have to admit! Oh, and that’s all before I even explain the main hilarity to the evening, when (without me knowing) the guys decided they’d try and set me up with their lesbian friend. Lets just say, that boys are the least subtle of people, and it was just generally the most cringe worthy and disastrous thing ever (we in fact didn’t even speak one word to each other all night!). It was the biggest case of “you’re gay and you’re gay, so be gay together” I’ve come across! It does amuse me when people don’t realise that it doesn’t exactly work like that, and you have to fine the other person at least moderately attractive …oh well, at least now they know that I was serious when I said I’m not even remotely interested in butch! Ha!

Oh, I just remembered something else worthy of writing about! I also went to see Marley and Me with one of the girls on Tuesday night. It was a surprisingly good film, and despite the fact that I do not and have never owned a dog, I still cried like a sap at the end!

With tired eyes, tired minds, tired souls…

February 13, 2009

Today was a tough day. Today was the day that we buried my Nan. It’s been 2 weeks since she died, and so the limbo has finally ended – dust to dust. It has literally been the most surreal day imaginable.

To begin with, it was the first time I had been into my Nan’s house since she died. I kept expecting to see her pop her head around the corner and for her to be there fussing over everyone …it just felt like an intrusion without her there, and she always felt uncomfortable with too many people in her house – she wouldn’t have liked it.

Next, my brother literally did not stop crying the whole day. When the priest came to the house he started, continuing in the car there, getting worse once at the crem. He broke my heart during the service. He cried like I’ve never seen anyone cry before. I just sat with him, hugging him. I felt so useless. It was also the first time that I’d really had a chance to let go and cry for myself. It was a relief.

My cousin saw a PostSecret from this weeks selection on Frank’s website and thought I’d sent it in. She doesn’t know about this blog, which makes things stranger, as it was the exact same secret that I posted a few days ago on here about grandparents and memory. This same cousin and I also chose the same funeral song for my Nan at the same time, while we were county’s apart and speaking to different people …we have a connection I cannot explain.

I felt closer to my family today than I have in a long time. It brought almost a sense of pride that so any people came to the funeral to pay my Father respect. He is such a loving, caring man, he deserved it and so much more. I can’t imagine living life without either of my parents, and so I’m going to endeavour to help him remember that he still has family that loves and adores him. He is my hero.  

Lastly, my Auntie was ridiculous today. Once all the guests had left she immediately started grave robbing. It was crazy. She nearly reduced myself and my cousins to tears. Dividing up trinkets is not what you do on the day of the funeral. I’m sorry, but it’s just damn disrespectful. If I hadn’t been so shocked by it all, I would have had such a go at her. She was the only part of my family that near ruined the day …funerals are bad enough without that.

I’d also just like to say thank you to my friends that have sent me cards, texts, facebook messages/comments/status’  or called me. It means so much to me that you’ve held me in your thoughts today …it would have been a much tougher day without it. Thank you.

In rememberence of
1928 – 2009

Like a plague…

January 31, 2009

Guilt is a horrible thing. I’ve decided that I carry too much of it around and I just can’t handle it all anymore. I feel guilty that I don’t have a better job, guilty that my relationship with my brother isn’t as strong as it used to be, guilty that I flirt and lead people on, guilty for not being able to help my relationship to work, guilty that I make other people guilty because I’m unhappy, guilty that I don’t keep in touch with people like I should, guilty for expecting people to change and act on impulse and express themselves when I know they can’t/won’t, guilty that I’m not living life to the fullest, guilty that I don’t chase the things I want  …and to top it all off I’m now pretty wracked with guilt over my Nan’s death.

She passed away early hours of Thursday morning, and I’m left feeling guilty for two reasons:

1) My Dad visited the hospital to see my Nan every single day she was there. Wednesday night I convincedhim not to go and see her but to come to the cinema with me instead. I feel so guilty because, as a result of me, my Father missed his last chance to speak to his Mother.

2) I’ve wished before now that she were dead. I’ve only ever confessed that to one other person, and when I sought absolution for this, they didn’t answer their phone. It’s not been the same since. I can’t get my mind from the fact that I wished she were gone, and now she is. It’s the kind of irrational guilt which I don’t know will ever pass…


“Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.” ~ Coco Chanel

“Guilt is the source of sorrow. ‘Tis the fiend, th’ avenging fiend, that follows us behind with whips and stings” ~ Nicholas Rowe


January 29, 2009

I took my Dad out to the pictures last night. He didn’t go to the hospital because of me. Now it’s too late. I’m going to have to live with that…

Gloves & gowns

January 27, 2009

Sadly, this blog is not nearly as kinky as the title would suggest, but in fact an update on all things hospital and my nan related. As if things couldn’t get worse, the nurses now tell us that she has picked up one of those bugs that you only get from staying in hospitals. This basically means that she is in a room shut off by herself, and when we visit her now we have to wear gloves and gowns. While my parents and I visited on Sunday, we actually managed to speak to a doctor and the news seemed worse again. As she isn’t on any solids at the moment, she is on an IV, but is still getting really dry. To try and compensate for this, they basically put her on an even bigger drip (from what I understand…), but then this has gone too far the other way now and is causing fluid to build up on her lungs. All in all it doesn’t sound too good, and to top it off, the doctor explained that in the case of her heart stopping, she is a DNR  (do not resuscitate) – never a fun thing to hear. The nurses are all really worried about her, and though everyone keeps saying “she’s a tough old bird” I can’t help thinking “no she’s not…”

08 Highlights

January 2, 2009

(in no particular order…)

Having someone to kiss at midnight on January 1st (there’s a first time for everything…)
Graduating with a First Class Honours! – Yeah baby!!
Seeing my brother perform to a sold out audience on stage
Going to Edinburgh by myself, working a dream job!
Buying my first car
Just generally being in love, and gaining a best friend for life…
Kissing at Castle Coch =p
Writing a dissertation – the single scariest piece of work ever!
Turning 21, and celebrating it in style! (sofa… ;p)
Coming out to my parents – not fun =s
Going to Italy – not only my first time there, but also my first holiday in a couple =)
I completed Race for Life in under an hour and made a nice bit of money for Cancer research doing it.
Seeing Hannah cheer at Varsity – that feeling of pride I’ll always remember…
Making some amazing new friends – Steph, Dan, Rachel & Bethan.
Wearing 3 dresses (how un-me!!) – Summer Ball, Wedding & Graduation Ball.
Seeing the Summer Solstice at Stonehenge.
Seeing Chicago on stage in London.
Cutting my hair and saying “so long” to the ponytail!

Wow, there’s been some pretty life changing stuff this year hasn’t there?! Crikey…


“Even though I really love you I’m gonna smile because I deserve to, it’ll all get better in time.”
Better In Time ~ Leona Lewis